Today, as a world, we face unprecedented physical and financial challenges.  It seems the world is falling apart.  Many live in fear of the future.  Fear they or someone they love may be taken by this ruthless virus.  Fear the financial repercussions may be too much to overcome.  Fear of being alone.  So much fear of the challenges ahead, even when we try to tell ourselves we will be okay.

But what if I told you your past prepared you for this challenge?  Or this challenge was prepared for you?  Would you believe me?

Less than 18 months ago my husband became unable to work because of a back injury that flared up.  It was a scary time for our family as we didn't know when, or if, he could return to work.  After the initial injury it took four months before he could work again.  This time one month turned to two, two into four, until nine long months passed and he finally started working again.  As I look back on the situation I can see how my past prepared me for the challenges the world faces now.

I found my husband's injury especially difficult because suddenly the challenges of my childhood replayed in my mind and in the memory of my cells.  During my childhood my father supported our family by working as a laborer in various ways, laying carpet in churches, picking fruit, fixing houseboats, among others.  Our living was basic, but my parents managed.

That all changed when I was eight years old.  My father suffered a serious upper back injury while working at a lime (mineral) mine or processing plant.  With a complexity I still don't understand, the powers that be determined his injury did not exist, even though he hardly managed to get off the couch each day.  No worker's compensation.  No disability.  My mother faced the challenge of finding work to pay the bills and care for her five children and disabled husband.

The accident happened on my mom's 32nd birthday.  She always remembers her birthday as the day her life completely changed.  Five children, ages two to eight needed care and support.  I have no idea how we survived that first year.   My mom started writing articles for the local newspaper and made jewelry to sell, but it certainly didn't pay the bills.  Friends and family helped when they could.  A year later we moved and my mom started driving combines harvesting peas and other vegetables.  That eventually led to a bookkeeping position with the same company.  My freshman year of high school we moved again and my mom started college at age 37.  We graduated with our respective degrees four years later.

Honestly, I don't remember many details from those years.  I recall glimpses, but mostly of school and not home life.  I do know as the oldest child, with several siblings close in age, my parents depended on me to help.  I took that role in my family long before the accident, but the accident amplified the need and my responsibilities.  I spent much of my time trying to smooth out the extremely high levels of stress in our home.  At least as much as a child could.  I'm still learning how that experience shaped who I am today.

When I went to college I determined to finish my degree before getting married.  I knew I did not want to share my mother's experience of trying to raise and support a family at the same time she worked at earning a degree.  I earned my bachelors degree in three-and-a-half years.

I married several years later and insisted we lived by a budget.  A budget gave me a sense of control over my life that I didn't have as a child and I knew my parents didn't have.  I meticulously entered every dollar we spent into a spreadsheet.  We set money aside every month so when bills like auto insurance came up we would be ready.  No scraping together funds at the last minute or using credit cards.

After my husband finished graduate school the budget became more elaborate.  We made it to the point where our monthly budget was built around the money we earned the previous month.  We did not plan how to spend money that wasn't already in the bank.  I built savings categories for every financial situation we could possibly encounter, emergency savings, home improvements, clothing, health savings account, even a category for unexpected expenses.  We didn't consolidate my husband's student loans so over time we could pay off individual loans and decrease our monthly liability.  We bought a house with payments less than half of what we qualified for.  I made all those decisions because I was terrified of living the stress, uncertainty and trauma of my youth.

When we hit October 2018 the threat of my worst challenge imaginable seemed to appear.  I did not want to face the possibility that my husband would no longer be able to support our family and that role would suddenly be forced upon me.

Except this experience did not replay my childhood, even though it seemed similar and my body physically reacted like it was.  I had to show myself, and accept, that my path did not parallel the lives of my parents in that way.  I had a college degree and had always found work when I needed.  We had one child instead of five.  My husband had a well-paying job that allowed me create all my "what-if" categories.  My need to be prepared for the challenges of life paid for five months of necessary expenses.

My past prepared me for my future.

And the challenges of last year prepared me for the challenges I face today.

As I face the uncertainties and challenges of life COVID-19 spreads across the world I look to the past and see the ways it prepared me for this moment.

Afraid my husband might stop working?  Absolutely!

But I take reassurance in the financial strategies that helped us last time and in knowing there are many people and organizations ready to help if we need it.  When that time came for us last year I felt deep in my heart that sometimes others need to help us so we feel the love of God through them.  Never be ashamed of needing help when all you can do isn't quite enough.

I also look to the past to reflect on the good that resulted from the challenges.  With my husband home he took over homeschooling our son.  I worked on accruing the four hundred research hours I needed to pursue becoming an accredited genealogist.  It would have taken me years to do that under normal circumstances.  My husband, a home health physical therapist, came to understand pain by experiencing it on a debilitating level. That challenge allowed him to connect with his patients differently and modified how he approached their experiences with pain.

I invite you to contemplate your past and see how it prepared you for this moment.  Do you have skills that you can contribute to the well-being of others?  Can you see the strength you gained from challenges of years ago?  Did you develop empathy for those who face challenges similar to past experiences of your own?

Then look at the challenges you face today.  How can you use this moment to prepare you for the future?  Can you strengthen your relationships with your children or parents?  Will learning a new skill bless your life later?  Will choosing to look for the good within the hard change how you see the world around you?

Look to the past and see how it has prepared you for this moment.

Look at your present and ask how it can prepare you for the future.