Taralyn Parker | Family History is a Team Sport

Stories in Our Roots 0:03
Welcome to the Stories in Our Roots podcast. I'm your host Heather Murphy. In this podcast, we dive deep into how knowing the stories of our ancestors can make a difference in our lives today. Discovering our family history is more than a hobby. It is a way to connected deeply with ourselves, those we love and the world around us.

Heather Murphy 0:25
Hello, and welcome to Episode 25 of stories in our roots. I am Heather Murphy. Today's interview is with Tara Parker. And we've talked about how family history is a team sport, how she has learned stories about her families by working together with other members of her family, and even sometimes with people who she didn't realize were family. But she finds out later. Here's an interview with Tara Parker. Hello, Tara, I am so glad that you have joined me today I am looking forward to learning more about your family history stories and how they matter to you. So to start off, could you introduce yourself a little bit?

Taralyn Parker 1:09
Yes, I would love to thank you so much for having me here today. I love stories. I'm a journalist, blogger, a family historian. And you know, through all those things, the common thread is stories. I like writing stories. I like reading stories. I like sharing stories. And that's why I'm excited to be here. I'm a mom of four. I have ages three to 213. And they keep me pretty busy. I love sharing about family history. I like teaching at roots tech. And I'm the Social Media Manager at our local Family History Center. Yeah, that's a little bit about me.

Heather Murphy 1:54
Thank you. Now can you tell us how you first became interested in learning about your family history?

Taralyn Parker 2:01
I am really lucky because I feel like it was just it was woven into my my childhood. I feel like I've been interested since I was young. One of my first family history memories. It's kind of a, I don't know that it's your typical one. But it was typical for me. My grandma and her sisters would get together during the summer at my dad's house she had it had a pool in her backyard. And so my grandma and the great aunts and my mom and her cousins would swim or do like water aerobics. And then the kids would swim around. But they would start telling family stories like they'd be doing their arm exercises. And they would be talking about my great grandparents or one like crazy thing I'll never forget, like they mentioned Great Grandma to his ankles. I don't know why, but that just always stuck with me like Why? Why would she remember her ankles. But I just I loved hearing these stories because I had memories of my great grandpa like and it was like his window washer wave. He'd wave his hand back and forth. When we left like a window washer, or windshield wiper. I mean, like that. And so it was fun to hear them talk about when he was younger and when he was a dad and how he sang in barbershop quartets. And my great grandma played the piano. So while the other kids were kind of splashing each other and doing the cannonball into the pool, I just kind of like doggy paddled around them in a circle because I wanted to hear the stories. Luckily, the rest of my childhood was just as like steeped in these stories. Christmas was one of my favorite times because my great dad worked at the family history library in Salt Lake. And she would always send stories to her sister to my grandma to put in binders. We just weren't quite as digital back then. It was the 80s. And then, on the other side of the family, my grandpa sisters would do the same thing. And so I was almost more interested in like reading that next story in the binder then then even some of my toys and things like I just wanted to sit by the fire and, and read the stories. So I just I feel really lucky to have those moments in my childhood. But then as far as you know, like the more official family I guess it's all official family history. But when I went to college, one of these same great apps, I went to Rick's College in Idaho, and she included me in her research process. Her father in law had passed away. Young, like right near around when her husband was was born. So he passed away young, and she asked me to locate a newspaper article about him. He had been in a play at the college and she wanted to get the picture and so That was my first opportunity to do research in a research library. So I got to do the microfilm and and that just kind of piqued the research side of it for me, and it just kind of spiraled from there. So it started with the stories. And then I kind of dove into the research. And then as an adult I worked in, of course, journalism, I did years in journalism, with newspapers and magazines, you know, sharing our current stories. And I dove into social media. That all kind of started when I was in grad school. And one day, someone invited me to help with social media for roots tech. And I went to route sec, and I'm like, oh, my goodness, these are my people. This is like my tribe. We all love, love stories and family. And so I mean, from those early days of swimming, up until helping be involved with roots tech, and doing more family history in my own life. I feel like it's just built on each other kind of a long story.

Heather Murphy 6:02
Your childhood, from what you said, it sounds like you had a lot of family members close by to is that correct?

Taralyn Parker 6:08
Yes, I did. I grew up having Sunday dinners with my dad's side of the family. And they were very, like regular and intentional in in gathering. And I just feel like that was such a blessing and such a great part of my childhood. And then on my mom's side, of course, we had the swimming and all of the fun things. And you know, some of these family members moved away and then moved back. But I feel like they always kept in contact with these letters. And you know, those Christmas stories and things like that. So I feel really lucky that way to have so many close.

Heather Murphy 6:46
Yeah. And it sounds like the stories that you're able to hear might have been more detailed, almost like you things that you would say were non consequential, like the ankles, because there was that constant like you didn't need to just stick to the big stories you had time to get into the little things.

Taralyn Parker 7:05
Oh, for sure. For sure. And it It's funny, because with some of them like, like, saved my grandpa, when I when I would talk with them, I would say oh, we let's work on our family history together, grandpa and he would say, Oh, it's done. It's done. We paid like a researcher back in the 70s. It's all finished. I'd be like, well, Grandpa, I want to hear your stories. Tell me about you. Tell me about your childhood, because that's more Well, I mean, I love the research, but I want to hear the heart of everything. My grandpa when I was in college, he he grew up in Rexburg, Idaho, and that's where I went to college. And so one summer he and my grandma drove up. And they took me around, like we stopped at the grocery store squeaky cheese. And then they drove me around Rexburg. And he showed me like the farmland where he grew up and their church and I just had my little journalism notebook writing things as fast as I could, but like we stopped at this, this house and it still makes me like laugh to this day. We stopped at a house and he's like, Oh, this is the home that I lived in when I was like 12. And I just looked at it and I'm like, really, Grandpa, because it was men's housing now and it said grandpa's house. And he had no clue and he just like, Why are you laughing? And I'm like, because it says grandpa's house like, and he was a jokester. So I thought he was pulling my leg but we've since verified that grandpa actually lived in grandpa's house. So it was easy. It was easy to find, but But yeah, I love those little details like where they lived and just their day to day details I love I love all of that and being open to that.

Heather Murphy 8:49
Another thing you mentioned that I thought was a nice point is that your answer your granddad can't remember which gave you a specific task to do find this thing in a newspaper. Do you think you would have felt different if you just sat down and said let's research like did it help to be so specific and helped me this way?

Taralyn Parker 9:10
Oh, it did. And I grew up just just idolizing this and like weird, I would say we're like those like kindred spirits like Ann of Green Gables. So I like even as a college student, I just felt like, Oh my gosh, and atlin needs me like I can I can do something. And I mean, I didn't know how to do like Minecraft. I didn't know how to do the microfilm. I didn't know how to do those things. But there were people there who could help me figure it out. And I just, it just made it seem doable. It was one task. It was a task that was tied to a story. Because I'm like, Whoa, there's your father in law and he's like, I think he was like an angel or something. The picture. I can't remember what the play was, but she just made me feel so a part of it and so important and she would do that. She did that a couple of times. She just kind of included me in, in her story and in gathering stories, and I just I love that about her. We still we still talk and chat and visit each other, even though she's across the country,

Heather Murphy 10:15
I think that's a great thing for those of us who consider ourselves like the family historian, and if we want to get other family members involved is to ask them and say, Hey, I need your help with this one thing, then they build those same feelings that you were just explaining.

Taralyn Parker 10:33
Oh, yes, it's it's so true. And it's such, like family history. It's like it's a team sport, we need everybody and, and we all have like different sides to the stories. And we all have access to different things. I mean, this was back probably in like, 1999, I'm dating myself, but back in 1999, and internet records, they just weren't as available. And so that was something that was doable for me that maybe wasn't doable for her. And so it is fun to find ways that we can help each other and connect with each other.

Heather Murphy 11:10
So what is the story from your family history, one of your ancestors that you are particularly fond of?

Taralyn Parker 11:16
It's like, it's like choosing your favorite child. I have so many. I have so many favorites. But one in particular that's been really timely for me this year is my ancestor. Her name is Nancy Maria, and I was really lucky. She's my third great grandmother. And that line, they were very detailed, and they love stories, and they left the information, but she was born in Illinois. And then she came to Utah, like as an infant. And even the details from her infancy. It was like a rocky road getting to Utah. It was not it was not a good time. And they even said that she was an unhappy baby. And I was like, oh, what like a sad detail. I'd be unhappy too. If I was, you know, crossing the United States, but I mean, she had, she had a rough childhood, her father passed away when he was seven, excuse me, when she was seven. He passed away. He was the first officer to die in the line of duty in Utah. There's actually like a beautiful memorial and statue to him. At our state capitol he was helping to save. He was trying to save a family in a river crossing and he saved almost all of the family. But then he sadly drowned. So just this really sad childhood.

She grew up a little bit in Salt Lake. But then, and this is this is where I could I started to relate with her more last year. She moved to to antelope Island. It's like, in the middle of the Great Salt Lake. And she went there to live with her grandfather. And I love it because it's part of her story that I can still connect with. I love when stories can connect actual places his home building gars home her grandfather is still there. It's like the oldest structure home structure still in Utah. So I was able to go visit so I can picture parts of her story. But so she met her growing up years there. And then she actually met my third great grandfather there as well. He was a ranch hand they had a ranch with lots and lots of animals, herds and and all kinds of things. But she met him there. They have their first two children there they married had their first children. But so her son, my, my great, great grandfather says that he's like, he's like, I just imagine how lonely She must have been on this island. Because they were the only family there it was their family and like the random chance so you know, there's no neighbor up the road to play with. There's no, this is the 1800s there's no phones, or zoom or Marco Polo, none of these things. And he's like how lonely It must have been like, and I stood I stood in in the in the same spots like in her garden in these places. And he's like how she must have felt like looking across at Salt Lake. And just being by herself with her young children and all these ranch hands. And it talks about like thunderstorms and worrying about her husband crossing back across the lake. And when I read this, I'm sure I've read it before, but I read it last year. And like right after all the shutdowns with the pandemic and everything. And I was like, Whoa, like that would be so hard. Like at the beginning of the pandemic. I was talking to my family every single day on the phone making sure everybody was okay. I was doing zoom calls. reading her story helped to kind of switch the perspective for me. My feelings in this situation were still valid and I felt them but she gave me such a perspective like whoa, she she did good man antelope Island. I can do good through this pandemic. And she was just such a trooper. Later, they moved down to hold in Utah, and just kind of started over. In her biography, she says that she felt the need to rise up, and that she wanted to do all that she could to build the people around her. And that was like another leg. Oh, I've got to remember this, like, I can feel that same desire, like we're in this terrible situation of a pandemic, what can I do, to look around and help people around me? And it helps me to try to think a little bit less of myself, like, how can I help others Connect? How can I help others feel better? How can I make sure other people have food that they need? Because that's what I mean. Maria did and she had 13 children and like, how did you have time with 13 children? But she helped with like building buildings and raising funds. And I think it was like growing silk or something. And I'm like, wow, how did she do all these things? But anyway, she's one of my favorites. As you can tell, I'm so inspired by her.

Stories in Our Roots 16:01
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Heather Murphy 16:46
It sounds like there's a lot of written history. So you have her biography, you have things that her son wrote about her life. Have you taken that same approach to other ancestors and thought about what it was to stand in their shoes?

Taralyn Parker 17:03
Yes,

Heather Murphy 17:04
even though you don't have the written information?

Taralyn Parker 17:06
Oh, yes, yes, I have, like, I'm very lucky on some of my lines. They're very well documented. But then others, it's not so much, you have just like more of a timeline. So you're just kind of grateful for the bits and pieces that you have. I have another ancestor my second great grandmother. Oddly, I always want to say like I tell you, but I believe it was Italy. And she actually she came to America from Germany at 19. And got married, left her entire family behind in Germany. And it always bothered me, because we didn't know much about her story. And just come to find out a lot of it was like it was just a really sad story. So it was not essentially passed out. But where I live, she moved to peace in Utah, which is really close to me. I've done my best to piece together her story. I'm lucky because there have been like books written and biographies about people who lived in the same time and attended the same or part of the same religion as she was. So I've been able to piece together a little bit more from family stories. But one of the things that that I didn't know, I didn't know. So this was in like World War Two times, right. So all of her family was left behind in Germany. And I mean, World War One World War Two, that's, that's a horrible time in history for Germany. And so she would send them canned food, she would send them packages of canned food. And from these other books that I read, like you read about how excited they were to get like, Hey, we got eight cans of canned food for Christmas. And that was just not how I feel really blessed that that's just not how my, my Christmases have gone even in hard times. But I kind of remembered that just that little tidbit from her life, that she sent canned foods to Germany. And I know she didn't have a lot of money here. From tidbits of storage, like very pieces together stories that I've read, she had to work really hard here. I remember that last year as well. Like when the shelves were bare in the grocery store, like that was really triggering for me, like oh my goodness, like there's no milk like where do I get milk for my kids, but you know, and then I come home and I look in my pantry and I have more than eight cans. So Merry Christmas to me, I have more than eight cans. I can make do with what I have. And I can share and help others because somehow I only did that back in the in the 1930s she took from the meager things that she had and she shared with others and she did a good job because we're all here we're all here today. We all her family made it so so even with no stories like just those one lines like I know she had to work really hard and I know she said food to your family in Germany. So even those people putting that together, I think how can help you just as much as the long biographies and written histories?

Heather Murphy 20:06
Yeah, that is one of the best things about learning about our ancestors is the perspective that it can bring to us and help us to not focus on so narrow and to be able to broaden out and say if my ancestor survived this situation, and was okay through it, even if it was hard that that can be to win we can, we know that life has ups and downs, because we've seen it within our own family.

Taralyn Parker 20:33
I agree with that wholeheartedly. I mean, we're so lucky to have that gift of perspective to look back. And then, you know, and hopefully it helps us to, to move forward. That's why I call my blog, my blog is keep moving forward with me. And that's how I do keep moving forward is, you know, by gathering strength from the stories and from this family.

Heather Murphy 20:57
Do you have another story that you'd like to show.

Taralyn Parker 21:00
There's always, always more stories. So I love I work in social media, I do social media for different companies. And I just, I believe so much in the power of making connections through through social media and sharing our stories on social media, and one fun experience that I had. And I think, for me, it just entrenches in my heart, like the power that stories have to connect us with with the living as well like not just with our ancestors, but with those around us. So as I mentioned before, I love roots tech, when roots tech rolls around, like I'm following the hashtag and, and I came across an account a new account, or a wonderful person, her name's Carolyn Reynolds, and she owns branches art. And I just started following her because I loved what she was doing. And she was doing an ancestors project where she highlighted a different ANSYS ancestor, every week. And one time, I'm just like scrolling through, and all of a sudden, there is my ancestor, like there is a picture of Annie Elizabeth, one of my third great grandmother, I believe, there's Annie Elizabeth. And it was the very first time that I had ever seen someone else posting about my ancestor. And I'll be honest, I kind of like, teared up, because it was like, oh, my goodness, there's like other people out there just as excited about stories. And here's this, this kindred spirit. And so immediately, like we we connected, we've worked on several projects together, and we actually live in the same town. And it was just beautiful. To hear her perspective of our ancestor of Annie Elizabeth, you know how it is there's, we have hundreds and 1000s of ancestors, and there's so many different stories. And the beautiful thing about connecting with other people is maybe they're looking at a different ancestor than you are I didn't know quite as much about Annie Elizabeth. And so it was just fun to read someone else's perspective of her, and to learn about her. So I think when we put ourselves out there and we share these family stories, we'll find that we're more connected than we think we are. And it kind of builds that community. I've run into the same thing. Like I talked about Nancy Maria and filming before, when I post their home, and their pictures, like I've totally had people be like, Well, wait, that's my great, great grandfather too. And, and I just love the sense of community that these stories can use to tie us together. The world is so divided these days, anything that can bring us to common ground and bring us together like I just love.

Heather Murphy 23:42
I'm fascinated that you can have a common relative like 150 or 200 years ago, and then you're like, I'm connected to you I'm, I feel different now, even though it's relatively so far back, but it still has the power to form those bonds of connection. That blows my mind.

Taralyn Parker 24:03
Oh, completely. I have another like one of my absolute best friends. We went to college together. We didn't know we were related until we went to a we ended up at the same family reunion. And we're like, Wait, you're a descendant of Heber C. Kimball to like No wonder we liked each other because we're family. So yeah, you never know who you're gonna be connected to.

Heather Murphy 24:28
Well, if you could go back to before you were interested in family history, and I guess for you, this would be like before your aunt had to do that task. Because since you've been interested in the stories for so long, what would you tell yourself?

Taralyn Parker 24:45
I would tell myself such a good question. Just to, like lean in and enjoy it like enjoy. Family History doesn't have to look a certain way. You know, sometimes it is like telling stories in the swimming pool or, you know, looking up things for your great act. Sometimes it's you know, telling stories to our kids at bedtime. My advice, you know, for myself back then, and even for others is just to come as you are, and do what you can and recognize that preserving stories, that's family history. If you're excited about video, make videos. If you like me, I love social media, I have family Facebook groups, I Twitter party, like, you know, the sky's the limit, you can decide what family history looks like, for you and just to lean in and enjoy it and ask those questions of your grandmas and grandpas. And the more questions that I ask other people, the more I feel closer to them, I feel I have really good relationships with like my parents, cousins and these great aunts and uncles. Just you know, because I ask questions I want to know about them. I want to know their their stories. And and I wish I would have started asking questions even younger. But you know, it's it's hindsight. So maybe maybe that would be my advice, ask more questions and enjoy the journey.

Heather Murphy 26:13
Thank you so much for sharing your stories and your experiences of how family history has really made a difference in your life. Thanks so much for your time now.

Taralyn Parker 26:22
Thank you for having me.

Stories in Our Roots 26:25
Thank you for joining me today for Stories in Our Roots. Please help this podcast grow by subscribing, leaving a review and sharing it with your friends. If you have feedback, or would like to recommend someone to share their story head to storiesinourroots.com and fill out the form. Thanks again for listening and I look forward to being with you again next week.

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