My 2020 Family History Gratitude List

Stories in Our Roots

Heather Murphy | My 2020 Family History Gratitude List

Episode 15 • 17:55

SPEAKERS

Stories in Our Roots, Heather Murphy

Stories in Our Roots  00:03

Welcome to the Stories in Our Roots podcast. I'm your host Heather Murphy. In this podcast, we dive deep into how knowing the stories of our ancestors can make a difference in our lives today, discovering our family history is more than a hobby. It is a way to connect deeply with ourselves, those we love, and the world around us.

Heather Murphy  00:26

Hello, and welcome to Episode 15 of Stories in Our Roots. I am Heather Murphy. This episode will air the Tuesday before Thanksgiving in the United States. So I thought I would go along with the theme of the season. And today I would like to talk to you about my top five items on my family history gratitude list for 2020. Now I'll start at the beginning of the year and work my way towards the present. So you know how I'm organizing this list.

Heather Murphy  01:00

First of all, back in February, I had the opportunity to speak at RootsTech, and I was able to give two different presentations. This was a phenomenal opportunity for me. I love speaking in front of people. I know for a lot of people public speaking is a number one fear. But I absolutely love it. That's not to say that my hands don't get really cold and my legs shake. I mean, I had that physical reaction to getting up in front of people. But I love it. The first group I spoke in front of was 300 people, that was the largest group I'd spoken in front of especially when I don't have a script, but I don't have what I'm going to say right in front of me, I was just going off by slides. And I was pretty nervous. In fact, one of the people in like the first row or two, before it was time for the meeting to start, he was like, "You're going to do great." And I could tell that he could tell that I was so nervous. But after about 10 minutes or so into the presentation, I relaxed and started to enjoy it. And I enjoyed the interacting with people afterward and answering questions. And that got me all warmed up for the next speech that I gave, which was to a group of adults 600 people in the room was even much larger than that. And it was being recorded, so that I got all that nervous energy all the way. So I was so grateful that roots tank had scheduled me that way. So I had a little warm up before the one that was going to be recorded.

Heather Murphy  02:39

The two different speeches that I gave were a little bit different. The first one was about researching female ancestors. And it was very heavy on examples and strategies of different ways to analyze your information. And the second speech I gave was about how to use research tools, a mogs. That one was structured a little bit differently, because while I did give people the information, they needed to use research logs and why they're important. It was really the heart behind it was helping people to understand that research logs are so important. And then they can totally change how you do family history and the way that you feel afterwards or during your research because of the benefits of doing it. And so it was a little bit more of an inspirational talk as well. And by the time I was done with RootsTech, I really knew that what I love is inspiring people to research their family history or inspiring them to look at their family history or look at how they do their family history a little bit differently. So that was just a great experience not only to be able to be in front of a bigger audience, but to gain a better understanding of myself. And what I really, really love.

Heather Murphy  04:02

Now my #2 item that I am thankful for and genealogy for this year goes right along with that it is also about RootsTech, I was able to have my mother and my grandmother be there  at RootsTech with me. We stayed all together in the same hotel room across the street from the conference center. And we met up for all the big general sessions. They were my cheerleaders when I spoke. It had been quite some time since I was able to spend time with them. My mom has some really serious heart issues and has for several years and it's really hard for her to get around and do things. My grandmother's in her 80s and she is the one that knows everything about everyone in the family. I see her a little more frequently than my mom, actuall,y because my grandma only lives about 45 minutes away. It was just a phenomenal time to have them there and spend so much time with them. My sister lived in the area and so she was also able to come up on Saturday and brought her kids. So we just had this great opportunity to have four generations together, and to enjoy being together when that doesn't happen very often.

Heather Murphy  05:23

And then an additional benefit is this summer, my mom ended up being life flighted from their home in Eastern Oregon to Boise and staying in the hospital there for about three weeks and then being flown again, to the University of Utah Hospital in Salt Lake City, and ended up needing, well, she's needed a heart transplant for quite a while. But they ended up putting in a heart pump to help her until that she can get the transplant. I just took so much comfort in the fact that I had spent four days with my mom earlier in the year. And to know that if she passed on that I would have that memory and that time with her. Considering I hadn't spent much time with her the years before that. That was a double blessing from having my mom and my grandmother there with me at RootsTech.

Heather Murphy  06:22

My #3 thing that I am thankful for related to family history this year, are things that I learned about my maternal line that I hadn't really paid attention to. I mentioned this back in Episode Two, just barely starting my first solo episode. I had always known ever since high school that I did not want to repeat my mom's situation, my dad was hurt and at work accident when I was eight. And my mom was suddenly responsible for providing for the needs of our family. She did everything that she could, but I, especially as the oldest child, really felt her burden, and saw how difficult it was to try to provide for the family. And then, after several years decided that she really needed to get a college education to be able to provide for that family in the struggle of having five kids three of whom were in high school while she's going through college. And I just knew that I didn't want to repeat that. I went to college right after high school, I worked hard I actually got done in three and a half years because I went to over a summer. And I made sure I had that college degree because I didn't want five kids and have to support the family and go back to school if something should ever happen to my husband.

Heather Murphy  07:51

It wasn't until this spring that I realized as I looked at my family tree, I had made a occupational family history chart where I'd written out everyone's occupations alongside their names, that my mother's grandmother had to provide for her family when she was 27 and she had five kids and her husband died. Through family history I was able to, to see things a little bit more clearly and to see how I had a pattern on my maternal line of women that had to provide for their family. And by seeing that I was able to let go of some fears and some concerns that I had about my life. Because I looked at my family history in a little bit different way. I've been researching my family for 20 years, I'd known that my great grandfather had died young. But it's interesting that at a time when I needed that information, that that's what I was able to see. And I think that happens a lot in family history. You can look at your family tree 100 and thousands of times. But if you're looking at it at different perspectives, because your life experiences are different, than that you can get different things out of it. And I was really appreciative and grateful that I got that clarification out of my family tree that their stories contribute to my story, but I'm not destined to repeat their story.

Heather Murphy  09:20

#4. Now this happened just last week. I have a several times great grandmother who died in an insane asylum in 1883 in Illinois. She had been in the asylum for over a decade. She'd been having bouts of chronic mania. She the reports say that she was in wristlets. She was separated from her family. The asylum was miles of miles away from where she lived, where her family lived. I have been trying to find her parents. All I have of her are census records. I have the 1850, 1870, and 1880 censuses, and then information from the hospital that she was died and buried there. But that's it. And her last name is Jones. So it's been really, really difficult to find out any information about her family and where she came from. Because there's nothing before the 1850 census. As far as I can tell, she was probably married in the county south of where she was in 1850, because I can't find her marriage record and the records in that county burned. And so that's where I'm thinking that information is from, but if her family was from that county, Cumberland County, Illinois, then that's making it really difficult because I don't have any vital records, any probate, land records before 1885. And she died in 1883. She married about 1848. It's been a real struggles to try to piece this together.

Heather Murphy  11:09

And so what I've been doing, as I've been researching all the Jones families, specifically those that came from Kentucky, because I think that's where she was born, in these this two county area. It has been a struggle. So last week I was working on it. And I generally work on my research in half hour or hour increments. I set a timer for myself, at the end of my half hour session last week I was real frustrated. I was like, I didn't find anything. And it kind of feels like that's all I'm doing with family is not finding anything. But then I realized, I did find something. This certain Jones family that I'm researching out to see if I can find any leads if she's related to them, I found that they had moved from Illinois, and we're living in Kansas. That was all I was able to find out. But I realized I needed to be grateful for that one thing. I may not have broken through the brick wall, I may not have been able to compile all sorts of information. But I found one thing. And I wrote that down. And I have a research journal that I wrote that in I found out there Richard and Freelove Jones were living in Bourbon County, Kansas in 1870.

Heather Murphy  12:31

I think it's really important that we recognize those small things that we're able to find in our research, especially where on some of our lines we get so caught up in click, click, click, discover, discover, discover all these names, all these dates, all this information. That can be a little disheartening then, when we go to these lines where we're not finding all that information, we're not getting that instant gratification. It's so important to remember to be thankful for each piece of information that you find. And even if you don't find anything, take the time to be grateful for what you did find that you know, this negative evidence that I don't have to look in the 1860 census again, I've gone page by page in the county, they're not listed on the census. And record those things as well. Be grateful for the time and the effort. Not everything that we do in life comes easy. And family history can show us that some things are easy, and some things aren't. But we can still work through them and still persevere and not give up and just run for an easier family to work on.

Heather Murphy  13:42

Now the last thing, #5, that I'd like to share that I am thankful for is this podcast. It has been a real pleasure to interview everyone and to hear the stories and hear to people's comments on social media about how they relate to these stories. And I've noticed that even though I asked generally the same questions of all the different guests, they all have their unique answers. There's so much variety in how people got started researching their family, what really stands out to them, the meaning that it has brought to their lives. And I've noticed too, that when I've asked people to share about their ancestors, nearly everyone shares about ancestors who base some difficulty some challenge and overcame it, or that future generations will overcome those things. And I think that's really beautiful and a great part of family history is being able to see that life is ebbs and flows between the good and the bad. And that as we look at our family history, we can see that and know that the same is true for ourselves, we know that there's ups and downs in life. And that's just part of life. And when we're in a down, the up will come again. And then we can also look at our ancestors to gain strength, that we can see part of their story and our story, and that if they could accomplish something, then we can accomplish it to.

Heather Murphy  15:22

I've seen people who have who have had family questions that have spanned generations, and through family history, research and their effort and their work, they've been able to discover things that their parents or grandparents didn't know. And really bring more completeness to the lives of their family members by sharing their stories. I've seen people talk about how they feel like they're part of the bigger story when they figure out their family that they can see, not only actually finding more cousins, more actual relatives, but also different situations where they can see, well, my ancestor had this situation. And because I know their story, I can relate to this other person who has a similar story, helping us to grow and empathy and compassion. It's just been phenomenal to listen to everyone's story, and to hear how family history has impacted them and made a difference in their lives.

Heather Murphy  16:26

And I'd like you to take time, and the next day or two, and sit down and make your own list. What things did you learn this year? Or what blessings were gained through family history? Were you able to strengthen a relationship with a loving family member? Were you able to answer questions that family had been struggling with for years, were you able to find cousins to connect with? Were you able to find a moment of peace and a year of chaos? In what ways has family history blessed your life this year, and write those things down? When we write things down, we can remember them better. And then also, we remember them later on as we read those things. Thank you so much for listening. I am grateful for each and every one of you. And I hope that these stories that you've been able to listen to have been a blessing in your life.

Stories in Our Roots  17:28

Thank you for joining me today for Stories in Our Roots. Please help this podcast grow by subscribing, leaving a review and sharing it with your friends. If you have feedback or would like to recommend someone to share their story, head to storiesinourroots.com and fill out the form. Thanks again for listening and I look forward to being with you again next week.